


Everything has Changed

by divineivy



Series: Taking Chances [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Anger, Bucky makes a friend, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hydra (Marvel), Mostly flashbacks, No Beta, Romance, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, Torture, basically a prequel, not much bucky relationship, oc is Tony's half-sister, oh well, tell me if u want to beta, there's one in every chapter, tws
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 13:27:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 20,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7224208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divineivy/pseuds/divineivy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Here's a secret: Everyone, if they live long enough, will lose their way at some point. You will lose your way, you will wake up one morning and find yourself lost. This is a hard, simple truth. If it hasn't happened to you yet, consider yourself lucky. When it does, when one day you look around and nothing is recognizable, when you find yourself alone in a dark wood having lost the way, you may find it easier to blame it on someone else -- an errant lover, a missing father, a bad childhood -- or it may be easier to blame the map you were given -- folded too many times, out-of-date, tiny print -- but mostly, if you are honest, you will only be able to blame yourself."<br/>Nick Flynn</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_I peered around the corner of the crumbling building I was leaning against; my rifle in hand and prepared to fire if I found anyone on the other side. There appeared to be no one, so I turned back to my team, giving them the signal to go ahead so I could stay behind and watch for stragglers._

_We had just taken out a group of HYDRA officials, but we couldn’t be sure if we had taken care of all of them. HYDRA cells were difficult to destroy. They often had more people hidden behind walls we couldn’t see, and they would wait until we were almost sure we had gotten all of them to attack. I wasn’t willing to lose anyone that we didn’t need to today, so I made sure to keep an eye out and cover our back._

_So far, there wasn’t any sign of life coming from the pile of rubble where the HYDRA base used to stand._

_I’m not sure how it happened. I’m not even sure what happened. I heard someone yell, “Grenade!” and I felt the ground shake below me before I felt the pieces of shrapnel lodge into my thigh, and I felt the sting of the debris that was upturned on my cheeks._

_The force of the explosion knocked me backwards and I quickly turned onto my stomach and covered my head with my arms so it wasn’t exposed. When the ground finally stopped shaking I lifted my head and turned back around to check the damage the grenade had caused._

_I felt my jaw drop at the sight before me. Every one of my team members was laid in the dirt. Some were missing limbs._

_I stumbled to my feet, abandoning my rifle as I ran to my team- my friends. I knew none of them were far enough away that they could have survived, but I had to make sure. I wouldn’t leave a single survivor behind._

_By the time I approached the last private, a pair of black boots came into my vision as someone approached me. Everyone on my team was accounted for in the bodies that laid scattered around me, so I knew it couldn’t have been one of them. I felt a chill run down my spine as I hesitated to look up. When I finally could, I was staring into the barrel of a gun._

I jerked awake, jolting upright in my bed and struggling to calm my breathing. I could swear I was getting used to having nightmares about the mission that had gone horribly wrong while I was in special ops, but recently they had darker shadow following them and they were becoming much worse.

Swinging my legs over the side of my bed, I heard JARVIS speak. “Ms. Miller, your heart rate and body temperature are extremely elevated, should I alert Mr. Stark?” He asked.

I rolled my eyes as I stood from my mattress, heading to the kitchen for a glass of water. “Just a nightmare, JARVIS. We’ve been through this.”

The AI didn’t reply until I had made my way into the kitchen. “Is there anything else you would like my help with, ma’am?” I gulped down the glass I had filled with tap water while he was speaking before I replied.

“No thank you, JARVIS.” I placed the glass back in the cabinet and checked the time. It was only 6:30AM and I didn’t have to be at work until 8:45 today, so instead of going back to sleep I decided to throw on some sweats and a tank top. It was almost midsummer, so I didn’t need to wear any layers, but I was still strikingly aware of the bright, red scar on my upper thigh. I didn’t need anyone else to be aware of it today.

I finished by throwing my hair up in a bun, and let JARVIS know that I would be going on a run and to keep an eye on the house, as if he needed to be told.  I swiped my earbuds off of the small table at the doorway and plugged them into my phone, a small, glass rectangle that somehow projected a screen into it’s reflective surfaces, swiping the screen to ignore the messages that had popped up, and playing one of my most recent playlists.

The phone had been a gift from my half-brother, Tony Stark. Before JARVIS knew to ask about my condition when my heart rate and body temperature would spike, he alerted Tony almost nightly about it. He would end up calling while I was still awake, only to find out it was another nightmare.

He felt guilty that he couldn’t help me move passed the dreams- not that I had ever let him help- and he sent me a new cell phone along with an MP3 player he had designed and a new laptop. He claimed it was to keep me entertained when I couldn’t get back to sleep, but he knew the only way for me to work through the nightmares was by running or heading to the gym and working on my kickboxing.

Tony had made me promise to see a therapist when I had moved back to my home in D.C. after I returned from Sokovia. I had agreed, but recently I had been missing sessions. Fury always had one thing or another he wanted done, whether it was joining in on a smaller mission or filing paperwork, the director somehow always got to me when I was headed down the hall for the man’s office.

He had even sent me on a mission with Steve and Natasha yesterday, which would not normally be something I was qualified for. I hung around Steve and Natasha normally and sometimes I even arranged and escorted them to their meetings, but I had never been assigned to a mission with them.

As I reached the end of the walk up to my house, I swiped the glass screen of my phone again to check my messages. When I did, I found that I also had several missed calls from Agent Hill and a few from Sharon Carter. Most of the text messages were from Steve.

**_2:39AM: Where are you? Bad news._ **

**_2:46AM: Hill says you aren’t answering. Where are you?_ **

**_2:50AM: Don’t leave your house until you talk to Hill_ **

I heard a gun click as a bullet slid into it’s chamber behind me, but before I could move, I felt an arm around my neck, holding me into place. I felt the barrel of a gun on the side of my head and I bit down on my bottom lip.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Put it away. Don’t make a sound. Let’s get back inside before I have to take care of any witnesses.” I nodded and slid my phone into the pocket of my sweatpants. The arm moved from around my neck and I felt the gun move in between my shoulder blades. My heart was racing so fast I thought it was going to beat out of my chest, but I turned to get a look at the man anyway.

His hair was long and dark, falling around his face. It would cover his features if it weren’t for the mask that was already covering half of his face. He was dressed in all black, but one of his arms was covered in metal. Or, anyway, it was made of metal.

I glanced in confusion before I tripped over an uneven section of the sidewalk and returned my attention to the walkway, leading the man into the house. He was almost a whole head taller than me, and he was a lot bigger. There was no way I would be able to fight him off.

I lead the man into my kitchen before he finally took the gun away from my back. I turned to face him for the first time and found that blood was dripping onto the dark tile of my kitchen floor.

“Your computer system is disabled. You’ve got five minutes to answer my questions or I’ll kill you and move on.” He was breathing heavily, obviously wounded.

“Okay, but, uh, don’t you think you should do something about the blood. Dripping. From your arm?” I reached for his arm but he recoiled and I held my hands out in surrender. “I just want to help. You can still ask me questions.”   
            “You want to help a man that’s threatened you more than four times in less than 20 minutes?” His chest was still heaving and I rolled my eyes at his question.

“Does that count?” He rolled his eyes back at me and pointed the gun in my direction. I decided it was best to keep my mouth shut for the time being.

“Why are they trying to get ahold of you?” He asked. I could feel the confusion on my face. “The captain. And the Director. They were both trying to find you.” I had no idea what he was talking about, but he had a gun pointed at my head and I knew I needed to respond.

“I haven’t- been in contact with anyone. Since last night. After the mission. I just saw Steve- Captain America? Is that who you’re talking about?” He looked frustrated, but dropped his gun anyway. He started to walk in the direction of my back door, but I placed my hand on his shoulder to try and stop him.

Big mistake.

He whipped around instantly, grabbing my hand and twisting my arm so it was held behind my back. “I was just going to ask if you wanted help with the bleeding!” I exclaimed, swearing as his grip on my hand tightened. He let go when he heard me curse.

“No. They’ll ask questions.” He said, turning back to the door and disappearing into the timber behind my house.

“Who is they?!” I yelled. It was too late, I knew he wouldn’t hear me, but what I didn’t expect was JARVIS’ reply.

“Ms. Miller, Mr. Stark is trying to reach you. He says it’s urgent.” I nodded before pulling out my phone again, swiping the screen and setting it to speakerphone.

“Phoebe Jade Miller it has been almost an hour since your security system was disabled. Have you even watched the news? Do you have any idea what’s going on? There’s an assassin on the loose right now. He could be coming after you for all you know!” I was honestly surprised that he wasn’t out of breath by the time he got done with his tirade.

“Tony, I know. And I’m pretty sure he just used my back door?” The line was silent for half a second before I could hear Tony begin yelling again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I didn't say much in the first chapter, here's my introduction :)   
> This work is complete, there's fifteen chapters. It's basically a prologue to a Bucky/oc fic, taking place during Captain America: The Winter Soldier.   
> I post every Saturday, but my first chapter on here was posted earlier this week. I didn't plan on the whole having to sign up for a beta thing, so I got behind a few days. From now on, there will be one chapter every Saturday, but once I get closer to finishing the second one, I may consider going to two chapters a week.   
> There's not much Bucky/oc in this one, but I'm working on the second one now, which will have MUCH more. Thank you for reading and let me know if you find any mistakes!   
> -Ivy


	3. Chapter 3

By the time I got off the phone with Tony, he had promised that he was sending someone out to work on my security system first thing. He didn’t want me to call Steve, he wanted me to stay out of everything. Especially since the assassin- The Winter Soldier is what Tony had called him- had threatened my life and questioned me about Steve himself.

But, I gave Tony my ‘big girl’ speech and insisted that I knew what I was getting myself into. So, here I was, dialing Steve’s number and waiting for an answer. The dial tone cut off when he did answer, but he was already talking before the lines were fully connected. “-you have any idea how long we’ve been trying to get ahold of you? Are you alright?” He sounded really concerned.

“I’m alright Steve, what’s going on?” I asked. I didn’t want to tell them about the man that had broken into my house yet, he seemed worried enough.

“Fury was in an accident. You need to get to the hospital, now.” His voice was lowered and I could tell there was something off about him, so I just nodded before replying.

“I’m on my way, Rogers.” I replied, quickly hanging up and heading out to my car, unlocking it and starting it before heading down the highway to the hospital.

I made it there in record timing, sprinting to the elevator in the parking ramp and into the hospital. When I reached the front desk, Natasha was already there, waiting to show me back. When we reached the door of Fury’s room, Steve was waiting outside, staring in through a large glass window.

“Is he gonna make it?” Natasha asked. Steve just shook his head and shrugged before replying.

“I don’t know.” He replied. I pushed between the two, leaning my forehead on the glass and watching as the doctors operated. I could hear them talking behind me, but seeing Fury on the table had shocked me so much that I didn’t want to be a part of their conversation. I heard them talking about a shooter, but Steve said something about a metal arm and I whipped around, shocking both of them.

Before I could speak though, I heard a loud, fast paced beeping and I turned back to the window, watching as Fury flat lined. Natasha pushed closer to the glass next to me. “Don’t do this to me, Nick.” She whispered. I could see the hurt on her face. I felt it too.

The doctors were working in a flurry of motion; I could barely keep track. But Fury’s heart still had yet to beat. Everything around me seemed to be moving in slow motion, everything except Fury and the doctors. But, then they stopped working. One of the doctors turned to a nurse, asking for the time before he announced the time of death.

“No.” was the only word I could whisper. Before I knew it, Maria Hill was escorting the three of us into the room to say goodbye. I stood near the window, not wanting to face his body.

“We need to take him.” Maria stated after a few minutes. Her voice broke through my fog, and I felt myself surge with anger. I wasn’t even sure what I was angry at. I turned to face the window and before I knew it my fist had collided with the glass, leaving a large crack down the center.

Steve and Natasha were quick to turn around and see what had happened, but I was already on my way back into the hall. I ran my hands through my long, dark hair and paced the length of the hall outside of the room that held Fury’s body. Steve followed me out first, stopping me and setting his hands on my shoulders. He started to speak but I cut him off.

“When the fuck is someone going to start explaining to me what the hell is going on?” I yelled, but I wasn’t looking for an answer. Steve tried to interject but I cut him off. “No, I wake up to a screen full of messages I ignore, try to go for a run, open said messages, and suddenly there’s an assassin holding a gun to my head. It hasn’t even been an hour and my fucking director just died in front of me. Do not try to write this off, Rogers. I deserve to know.” I knew I sounded hysterical. Steve could only look at me with confusion and narrow his eyes before Agent Rumlow walked through the doors at the end of the hall and approached us.

“Captain, they want you back at SHIELD.” He announced, looking back and forth from my angry features and Steve’s narrowed eyes.

“Yeah, give me a second.” He replied, obviously annoyed with Rumlow interrupting him.

“They want you now.” He deadpanned, not moving from Steve’s side. I was getting fed up with him as well, so I decided to reply before Steve could.

“Okay, Rumlow, he gets it.” My voice apparently sounded hostile enough, because he only nodded before walking back down the corridor he came from. When he was through the double doors at the end of the hall, Steve finally replied.

“Phoebe, all I can tell you is you can’t trust anyone. We’ll talk more later.” He released his hands from my forearms, where he had placed them just incase I started swinging at the windows again.

I kept my face straight but nodded once, trying not to let him see how upset I really was. I turned back to the room where Natasha was still standing, leaned against the wall and talking with a staff member about the window I had broken. I interjected their conversation quickly, reassuring them that Tony or I would cover the cost of the window if they sent me the bill.

Once I was done giving the man my address, Natasha pulled me to the side, making sure no one was listening in on our conversation. “Did Steve tell you why Fury was in his apartment last night?” She asked, her voice still quiet.

“Fury was in his apartment?! No! No one will tell me anything!” I threw my hands up in exasperation before Natasha hushed me.

“Fury showed up in Steve’s apartment last night. An assassin shot him through the window. Steve followed him pretty far but he couldn’t keep up with him before he got away-”

I cut her off before she could finish, crossing my arms over my chest. “Yeah. That guy. The Winter Soldier? I got a friendly visit from him this morning.” I spat, going to walk around Natasha. I didn’t want to talk about him anymore.

But Nat put her arm out to stop me and gripped both of my shoulders, turning me to face her. “What do you mean a ‘friendly visit’?” She asked, lowering her voice. I rubbed my temples before replying.

“Steve told me not to trust anyone.” I whispered, glancing around at all of the SHIELD employees littering the hallway. She just nodded and moved to whisper in my ear.

“Meet me in the next room over in a few minutes. Make sure no one sees you.” I nodded and walked towards the opposite end of the hallway that Rumlow had disappeared into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how well I did at writing Steve and Natasha, but I'm mostly sticking to the script of TWS so I try not to get too adventurous with them. I've been working really hard on the next story, so hopefully I'll have it finished by the time I'm done uploading this one! Let me know if I left anything out, or if anything is confusing!


	4. Chapter 4

To buy myself some time, I decided to head to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. Fury was dead. SHIELD was compromised. I couldn’t trust anyone. I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to tell Natasha. The whole situation was beginning to give me a migraine.

As I walked back down the hallway, I made sure there were no more SHIELD agents present. I didn’t want any of them finding my presence suspicious, since they had already removed Fury’s body from his room. When I was sure there was no one around, I slipped into the room where I was to meet Natasha. She was already waiting.

As I approached her, she held up a flash drive. Confusion flitted over my face. “What…?” I didn’t have to finish my question for her to know what I meant.

“I don’t know. Steve hid it here. In the vending machine. I need to figure out what it is. You need to lie low. But I need you to tell me what you know about this guy first.” I nodded and rubbed my hand over my forehead, taking a deep breath before replying.

“I don’t know much. He had a metal arm with a huge red star painted on. I was going for a run and he held a gun to my head. He said he wanted answers. Why Steve and Fury were trying to contact me? He left before I could answer though. When I told Tony he said it sounded like-,” She cut me off, finishing my sentence for me.

“The Winter Soldier.” I nodded and she sighed. “I’m guessing Steve will be back for this soon. You need to go home. Make sure your security system is online at all times. Call us if anything goes wrong.” I nodded again and placed my hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry about Fury, Natasha. Call me if you or Steve need anything. I’m not really as ‘fragile’ as everyone seems to think I am.” Natasha thanked me and with that I was on my way home for the day.

* * *

 

 

As I entered the front door, I saw the trail of blood that the Winter Soldier had tracked in when he had threatened me. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a washrag, wetting it before heading back to the entryway to clean the mess.

I followed the trail of blood into the kitchen and to the back door, wiping the blood as I went. I couldn’t help but wonder what the man had meant when he asked why Fury was trying to get ahold of me. As far as I knew, Fury hadn’t tried to contact me at all.

“JARVIS?” I asked, walking back to the kitchen sink to wash the blood out of the rag I had used.

“How can I be of service, Ms. Miller?” The AI asked. I couldn’t get all of the blood off the rag, so instead I reached under the sink for the bleach, soaking the cloth in it.

“Do I have any personal messages from HQ?” I asked.

Since I hadn’t been into work today and I had left early after our mission last night, it was possible that Fury had tried to leave me a personal message at the office. I waited a few moments as JARVIS searched the system for them.

“There seems to be two messages, ma’am. The first is from Dr. Price and the second is from Director Fury.” Dr. Price was my therapist, and seeing as Fury had diverted me from several of our recent meetings, I could understand why he was calling. I swallowed hard, I still didn’t want to admit to myself that Fury was gone.

“Play the one from Dr. Price first, please.” I asked. JARVIS accepted the command. The time and date of the message were read first. It was from this morning, around 12AM. It didn’t make sense for him to be calling so early, especially since he knew I wouldn’t normally be in the office. I continued listening to the message, anyway.

“We are very sorry to do this, Phoebe.” I was becoming more confused by the second, “Hail HYDRA.” With that, the message seemed to cut off. I didn’t have any time to move for my phone before a sudden, high pitched frequency played through the message. I dropped to my knees on the kitchen floor, my hands gripped at my hair, and I had to struggle not to pull so hard that I ripped my hair out. I was surprised by a rush of memories that greeted me. I wasn’t sure if I was even conscious anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter was a lot shorter than I thought it would be. I kind of just wrote the story, and then divided them up into chapters. Anyway, I hope you're all enjoying this story so far! I've been super busy, and I just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years last week, so as you can imagine, things have been crazy. But so far I've loved writing the sequel! Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

_I woke up to the sound of men arguing. I could feel the cold, damp floor below me. When I opened my eyes, it took a minute for them to adjust to the darkness that surrounded me. The cell I was in, if you could even call it that, was almost completely shrouded in darkness. There was a small opening at the top though, and minimal light shone through._

_“She’s Tony Stark’s sister, you fucking durak.” I heard a man speak in a Russian accent before I heard a thump and a cry of pain come from another man._

_That’s right. Sokovia. I was in Sokovia. Our commander had sent us to a small church. Our mission was to secure the Winter Soldier, but we had failed. I couldn’t leave any survivors behind._

_We had begun our mission with eight troops. By the time we had left the church, nothing remained standing. We only had four troops when we retreated. But we were too late to draw back._

_I remembered the voice of one of my troops, yelling out, “Grenade!” before I threw myself to the ground. I remembered the feeling of the shrapnel piercing the flesh around my thigh, making it difficult for me to maneuver myself so I could check my squad for any survivors. I also remembered the pair of black boots that came into my line of vision as I was checking the last man for any sign of a heartbeat, and staring into the barrel of a gun before I was knocked out._

_I groaned as I tried to sit up from the hard ground, my back aching in protest. I could hear the men speaking again. “You don’t think they’ll be searching for her high and low, sooka?” I could only understand half of their conversations, by brain was too tired to decipher the Russian._

_I could hear the other man speaking, now. “She has some kind of ability, sir. She was able to take out our men before they could even get their guns up. Some of them were even in hiding!”_

_As I finally maneuvered myself into a sitting position, I brought my hand to my head, feeling at the stinging area behind my ear. I could feel the warm, sticky blood. I had been hit by the shrapnel in more than one area._

_As I remembered the shrapnel, I tried to shift my leg, only to be greeted by a searing pain. I gasped and shifted my leg back to it’s original position. The shrapnel was still in my leg, albeit broken off so that it wasn’t protruding anymore._

_I looked around for something, anything that I could cover my leg with if I were to remove it, but the cell was empty save for myself. I quickly removed my jacket, inhaling sharply as the cold hit my shoulders and my leg shifted involuntarily. I only had a tank top on underneath my jacket, it had been too hot to wear anything else, and now I was regretting that decision._

_I tucked the jacket beneath my knee before situating it so that it was below the part of my leg with the shrapnel in it. As I reached for the metal lodged in my leg, I took a deep breath to prepare myself. It didn’t help, though. I yanked it from my leg, letting out a shout of pain and throwing it to the side before tying my jacket around the wound, trying to stop the blood flowing from it. That seemed to catch the attention of the men shouting at each other._

_I heard the loud, heavy footsteps as they made their way down the darkened corridor, and I couldn’t make out their faces when the stopped in front of the old, rusted bars that held me in the small space. The larger one, whom had been yelling at the other, laughed as he saw how I had removed the shrapnel._

_“She’s got guts,” he said, his Russian accent thick, “I’ll give her that much.” The other didn’t say anything but laughed under his breath. The man reached behind his back, pulling out a small radio and speaking into it. “Zaklyuchennyy bodrstvuyet.” (The prisoner is awake)._

_Another voice responded, and the man turned to the soldier behind him, barking orders before pulling out a key ring and opening the door to my cell. As he approached me, I stiffened. He yanked me from the floor by my arm, and I couldn’t help but groan at the pain that shot through my leg at the rough movements._

_“Keep quiet and answer any questions we have, and we might just let you live long enough to see your brother again.” He spat the words out, forcing my hands into a pair of silver cuffs and yanking me through the door of the cell, heading down the corridor._

_I refused to answer. Our Sargent Major Allen had already warned me that this may happen, and I knew what I was facing. It seemed as though they knew I was prepared, though. They wouldn’t be taking it easy on me._

_I was pushed into a new room, this one only had a chair and a large tub of water. I knew what was going to happen. The large man locked the door behind me before speaking again. “The doctor will be with you soon, Ms. Stark.” He laughed, the sound itself giving me chills because of how dark and evil it sounded._

_“It’s not Stark,” I said, mustering up as much sarcasm as I could, just to spite him, “Nice guess, though.” My response only made him laugh again, and I decided to take a seat on the floor, knowing I was going to despise the chair within minutes of my arrival._

_I only waited for around ten minutes before I heard more footsteps coming down the hallway. I closed my eyes and rested my head on the wall behind me. When they entered the room, one was wearing a lab coat. The other, however, was wearing all black. One of his arms, though, was sheathed in metal. It was the same man who had pointed the gun at me as I checked my soldiers for any survivors. His arm wasn’t just sheathed in metal, it **was** metal. _


	6. Chapter 6

I gasped for air as I came to, still lying on the floor of my kitchen. The message from Doctor Price had stopped playing, however.

“Mrs. Miller, shall I contact emergency services?” I heard JARVIS ask. I shook my head quickly, trying to find my voice.

“No services. No.” I said. I was panicking. I had no idea what I had just seen. The dream was almost too vivid. It was as though I was actually living it. I could actually feel the cold that seeped into my veins and the pain that came from tearing the shrapnel out of my leg.

After our mission had gone wrong in Sokovia, I was captured by the Ten Rings. They had held me hostage for two weeks before Tony’s personnel had stormed the camp, freeing me and taking me home. I had spent another week in the hospital, healing from surgery as my leg recovered from the shrapnel. At least, that’s what Tony had told me. And Fury. And my therapist.

“JARVIS,” I yelled, the ringing had stopped but it was echoing in my ears, not waiting for a reply, “play back Fury’s message.” I gripped the edge of the counter, hoping he would explain the dream I had experienced. The computer read the date and time of the message again before I heard Fury’s voice.

I heard him yell something unintelligible before I could make his voice out, “Agent Miller, things aren’t going to make sense to you right now,” I scoffed but froze when I heard what sounded like a window shattering. He had called me while he was being attacked. “You need to run. Call Sam Wilson and ask him about the Sokovia Recovery, he will tell you everything you need to know.” I heard another crashing sound and the computer in Fury’s car updated him on all the damages to his system. “But after that, you need to run. **Far**. They don’t know you yet, but they will. I will find a way to let you know when this is all over, but right now, you need to **go**.”

I felt tears prick my eyes at the memory of seeing Fury’s lifeless body in the hospital. I knew there was no way he could contact me himself, but he had always had a backup plan in emergency situations. JARVIS spoke up again as I began pacing back and forth in my kitchen.

“Ms. Miller, your heart rate and body temperature are extremely elevated, should I alert Mr. Stark?” I stopped pacing for a moment.

If what Fury wanted was for me to run, I needed to run. And if I did, I couldn’t have anyone knowing what was happening. Whether or not the dream I had had was real, I had no clue. But, hearing the seriousness of Fury’s voice in his last message, I was beginning to believe it was.

“No, JARVIS. Please disable all security systems. And tell Tony I’m sorry.” I began walking to my room before he spoke again.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Miller, I don’t believe Mr. Stark would want me to disable my systems. It could put you in danger.” He spoke calmly, but I didn’t have time for him to be disagreeing with me. I altered my route to my room and instead headed for the hallway closet, where JARVIS’ homing system was located. I unplugged the main system before he could say anything else.

“Sorry, JARVIS, but Tony needs to stay out of this one.” I mumbled under my breath. With that, I stood to continue back to my room. But when I righted myself, I found myself staring into a pair of blue eyes. I shrieked in surprise, but he didn’t even flinch. That was when I realized who it was. The Winter Soldier.

I felt my spine stiffen, the way it did in my dreams when I was in the middle of Sokovia, staring into the barrel of his gun. He didn’t say anything, just looked at me as though he was trying to assess me.

“I don’t know who you are,” I started, “and I have no idea what you want, but if you’re here to take me back to them, just get it over with.” He held his ground for a few more moments before taking a step back, giving me room to breathe. That just confused me even more. Then he spoke.

“I don’t know why I’m here. I didn’t know where else to go.” His voice held no emotion, but I could tell his breathing was shallow as he pulled down the neckline of his jacket to reveal a rather large wound. It was very close to his collarbone and throat, but it didn’t look fatal.

“Now you want my help?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

“I didn’t know where else to go.” He repeated. “I can leave.” He turned towards the back door again, but before I knew what I was doing, I reached for his arm.

Again, that was a mistake. He turned quickly and held my wrist with his metal arm, his grip was painful and I let out a grunt before he released it. “Sorry.” He said, moving to flex his fingers before straightening them out again.

I shook my head before replying. “It’s okay. I disabled my security, let me help you.” I couldn’t figure out why I wanted to help him. As far as I knew, he’d held a gun to my head way before our meeting in my front yard, and he could have had something to do with the men that had kidnapped me.

“I know.” He said. I led the way to my kitchen, and pulled out one of the stools at the bar. As I reached for the first aid kit below my sink, I felt my phone begin to vibrate in my pocket. The soldier’s posture changed, becoming more rigid than it was when he had sat down, if that was even possible.

I pulled my phone out, checking the caller ID. “It’s Tony.” I stated, holding it in my hand for a few more seconds before I tossed it on the counter and let it ring. JARVIS had probably alerted him about my system being disabled, and it was only a matter of time before someone came to check on me. When I had finally grabbed the first aid kit, I picked it up again, turning it off so he wouldn’t try to call again.

“We have to be quick. I need to leave.” I told the assassin, standing in front of him and signaling for him to pull his shirt down. His wound wasn’t fatal, but it would need stitches. He was quiet as I cleaned the blood and dirt from it, his face didn’t even give it away if he was in any pain.

He finally spoke up when I was threading the curved needle. I was going to have to stitch the wound closed for it to heal. “Why?” He asked. The way he was eyeing the needle made me wonder if he was asking why I was holding it.

“Why, what?” I asked, confusion clear on my face.

“Why do you need to leave?” He asked, his eyes moved from the needle, instead boring into mine. I knew I shouldn’t trust him, but he hadn’t killed me yet. If he was waiting for me to admit that I knew they were coming, he had to know there was no way I was going to make it out of my house.

“Because I don’t need more people like you breaking into my house, let alone trying to kill me.” He barely winced as I began stitching the wound. It was the first sign of emotion he’d shown all day.

“They didn’t send me here. I wasn’t going to kill you.” He stated, his face blank again as I threaded the needle through his skin.

“That’s what I’ve been told.” I replied, focusing on stitching his wound. “But that doesn’t mean someone else won’t.” He dropped the conversation at that, and I was done with his stitches a few moments later. “Leave those in for at least a couple of weeks.” I told him, making eye contact. He nodded and I closed the lid of my first aid kit, leaving it on the counter instead of putting it away. I could bring it with me, especially since I didn’t know where I was going.

I turned to the sink to wash my hands as well as the equipment I had used, also giving him time to adjust his jacket again. But by the time I turned around again, he had already left.

I sighed quietly. I didn’t know anything about the man but I still felt slightly disappointed that he had disappeared.

I decided quickly to check the time. It had been almost half an hour since I had disabled JARVIS, and Tony would probably have someone at my house within the hour, so I headed for my bedroom again, grabbing a Nike duffel and a backpack I had gotten while I was in the military.

Heading for the bathroom first, I grabbed my toiletries. I left my makeup on the counter, figuring I wouldn’t need it while I was gone. I switched the light back off and headed to my room, reaching my dresser and grabbing a couple of pairs of shorts and sweatpants, as well as shirts and sweaters.

I didn’t know what all I would need. When I had enlisted, there was a directory of items that we needed to bring with, but I didn’t know what it was like to be on the run. I didn’t even know who I was running from, other than knowing their name. HYDRA was what fury had called them.

I stuffed one of the quilts on my bed into the backpack before making my way back to the front door. It had been almost an hour since I had disabled JARVIS, and I couldn’t risk turning my phone on again- Tony probably had some way of tracking it.

I slid on a pair of shoes and headed out to my car; I knew where I needed to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really, really sorry I missed last week! I have so much going on for my fall classes right now it's insane. I'm getting back on track, finishing up the next chapter for the second story!!! I really hope you guys are enjoying it! I need feedback!


	7. Chapter 7

I parked a couple of houses down, my car blending in with the others alongside the road. I had checked my mirrors several times on my way here, making sure one of Tony’s affiliates- or even HYDRA’s- weren’t following me. I had stayed the night in a hotel under a fake name to throw off anyone looking for me, but first thing after I woke up I checked out and headed back into town.

Sam Wilson was one of the many people I had met when I was deployed. He had just become a pararescueman and was being assigned to the 58th Rescue Squadron. He was one of the men who had rescued me from the Ten Rings. He was discharged soon after I was.

Now, I wasn’t so sure that whole story was true. When we had met after I woke up in the hospital back in DC, he hadn’t said much. He kept diverting his eyes as though there was something more he wanted to say but he couldn’t figure out how to say it. He told me of the condition I was found in and how they had destroyed the base after getting me out. Tony told me later that one of his closest friends had died on the mission before mine.

I took a deep breath and got out of my car, heading for Wilson’s door. I had been here before, to give thanks to him after I was healed for rescuing me. His house stood only a few miles away from mine, and it was the least I could do for the person who had saved my life.

As I approached the door, I could feel my hands shaking as I raked one through my hair. I reached for the doorbell but before I could ring it, the door opened and Sam Wilson was standing in front of me, looking slightly confused. I stuck my hand out for him.

“Hi! Uh, I’m Phoebe. We met-” He cut me off, returning the gesture.

“After Sokovia. I remember. A mission like yours is hard to forget.” He laughed lightly, not being able to look me in the eyes. He moved aside, gesturing for me to come inside. “How can I help you?” He closed the door behind me. I took in my surroundings for a moment.

“I got a message last night. From Fury.” I informed him, he nodded and sighed under his breath. “I need to know about the Sokovia Recovery. I need to know everything.” He led me to his living room, sitting in a recliner.

“I figured he would send you here. You might want to take a seat. This is gonna take a while.” I nodded and sat down on one of the smaller couches, facing him. “How much do you know?” He asked, trying to assess where my memories laid.

“Well, I remember the mission. I remember the man that took me- the Winter Soldier. But Doctor Price, my therapist, left me a message as well. There was some sound- it made me remember something. When I was captured. They were going to question me. The soldier was there, too.” I could feel my head start to ache as I strained to remember the dream I had just an hour ago. He nodded before speaking again.

“They told us we were to tell you it was the Ten Rings that took you. Fury said knowing otherwise would compromise you. Do you remember your time serving, Phoebe?” He asked suddenly. I rubbed my temples, thinking of my days in Special Ops.

“I try not to think about it much.  I know we were following the Ten Rings. We travelled a lot and we destroyed different bases. The only thing I remember clearly is the mission I was taken on.” I clasped my hands together in my lap, waiting for his response.

“When I first met you,” He started, sighing and leaning back in his chair, “you were still in training. I had joined the pararescue team, but they had assigned Riley and I to the 58th Rescue Squadron. That was yours. Your training was different from what we were used to. We started asking around; why were they keeping you in a building separate from where we were working? That was when things started getting strange.” He paused, waiting to see if I had any questions. I gestured for him to continue. “It was the day before we were supposed to leave on our first mission and we still hadn’t met any of the team we were going with. We talked to Commander Mager about it and he told us that we were only going with one person. That was you.

“He didn’t call you Phoebe, though. He called you Onyx. He gave us your file and told us to meet him in the mess in a couple of hours. The file had your real name in it, along with all your info. You were part of a new project. They didn’t use the term ‘sleeper’ in it, but Riley and I could tell the difference.

“The project was named Intellect Service. They trained soldiers- willingly, though I doubt they were given a full debriefing of the process- to go under the radar and collect foreign intelligence. Riley and I would be there in case anything went wrong and you needed to be pulled out.

“But, they went one step further and made sure you wouldn’t remember whatever you reported when they, for lack of better terms, woke you up.” I could feel the pain surging in my head as I moved to rub my temples again. I was starting to get the same feeling I had after hearing Doctor Price’s voicemail. Sam stopped speaking for a moment before asking, “Are you alright?” I nodded quickly.

“I just need a second, this happened earlier-” I couldn’t hear his reply, suddenly a loud ringing began again and I clutched at my head, praying for it to stop, but it wouldn’t. Before I knew it I was trapped in another dream- no, they were memories.

_“Soldat?” (Soldier) I heard, my eyes snapping open and focusing on the men in front of me. I assessed the room around me. There was a man on each side of me as well as one in front._

_“Gotovy soblyudat.” (Ready to comply) I replied, awaiting the mission they would assign me to. My mind was blank, other than memorizing my surroundings._

_“Excellent. Onyx, mission assignment.” I nodded, awaiting the assignment. “Infiltrate HYDRA base Crown. Location: Tokyo.” He read from a file he held in his hands, before reaching and handing it to me. “There will be an agent awaiting your arrival on the third floor with a file. Secure the file and return to base for a mission report. Ensure as few casualties as possible. Do not draw attention to yourself. Vy poniamayete?” (Do you understand?) He finished. I grabbed the file from his hands and tucked it under my arm._

_“Ponyal” (I understand) I replied, waiting for my dismissal._

_“Two pararescues will accompany you. You will wear a wire. If anything goes wrong, they will retrieve you. Vy uvoleny.” (You are dismissed) I gave a salute to the commander and he moved aside. I walked to the door, where I was met by the men who would accompany me-_

I gasped and clasped my hand over my heart, it felt as though it could beat out of my chest. I focused my vision and found Sam had crossed the room to kneel in front of me, worrying and asking if I was alright. “I remember. I remember the first mission.” I told him. He nodded, but worry still creased his features.

“Fury said you would start to recall information when we brought it up. What do you remember about it?” He asked, moving to relax into the couch.

“I woke up in a room with a few doctors. They called me Onyx. They debriefed me. It cut off after I met you and Riley. I think I can remember signing up for the project?” The memories were foggy but they were slowly filtering into my head. Holes in my memories of serving in special ops were being filled, albeit they were only the ones that had occurred before my first mission.

Sam nodded before continuing his story, “Commander Mager told us about the mission when we met him in the mess. He said you were being sent in to gather intelligence from a mole working at a HYDRA base in Tokyo. We thought we were working for the good side.

“When you received the file and drew back from the base, the weather was too bad to travel back to Afghanistan. We made it to Hubei, in China, and Mager told us to get holed up in a hotel. It kept biting at Riley that we didn’t know what was in the file; he wouldn’t stop asking you if he could see it. I left for maybe fifteen minutes to grab some food, but when I got back he wouldn’t talk-,” I felt another surge of pain in my head before my vision went blank, another memory infiltrating my conscience.

_I sat on one of the queen sized beds, my eyes focusing on the wallpaper on the far side of the room. Sam had gone out to get food, despite my protests, and Riley had stayed behind to keep watch over me. I could feel pain coursing through my head, and it felt as though someone was invading my thoughts. I felt like I was losing control of my body._

_Riley turned to me, as he had multiple times over the course of the day, “C’mon, you can’t tell me you don’t want to know what’s in that thing?” He pointed to the file that laid next to me._

_I grasped it in my hands again, scared that he would try to grab it while I wasn’t looking. “That’s not part of the assignment.” I repeated. It wasn’t. Commander Mager would have given me explicit permission had he wanted me to see the content of the file. My mission was to retrieve and return._

_Riley gave an exasperated sigh and threw his arms up, walking in the direction of the bathroom before replying. “Whatever you say, Phoebe.” With his reply, it felt as though something in my mind snapped._

_I felt myself slouch to the side as I lost consciousness for a moment, before the invader in my mind took hold, thoughts and memories rushing through my mind and causing even more pain. “Shit.” I heard Riley say. He rushed to my side, helping me sit up._

_“You said my name.” I told him. Mager had told me previously that, should anyone bring up my personal history, my mission would be compromised. I don’t think he had told Riley that. I looked at the file in my hands, suddenly curious._

_I knew Mager wouldn’t want me to open it. But, I wanted to know why I had been sent to Tokyo just to receive a thick file. It seemed like an overexerted mission for something that only held information. “Let’s look in it.” I said, looking up to Riley. He had wrapped his arm around my shoulder to steady me, and he moved to grab my shoulder, making sure I was listening to him._

_“We don’t have to, Phoebe. We should probably reactivate you. I don’t want Mager to find out I did this.” I shook my head, knocking his hand off my shoulder. “I want to know. We can do the reactivation later. I won’t remember. They won’t find out.” I pulled the string that held the file together, letting the covering on the front fall open._

_I opened the file completely, tossing the cover to my side and focused my attention on the cover page. “The Winter Soldier Program?” Riley asked, moving to my side so he could read the file as well._

_There was an older looking picture of a soldier at the top of the next page, clean cut and in his uniform. He was receiving his Sargent status. Below that was a picture of the same man. His hair was longer and the edges of the picture looked frosted around the edges._

_“Is he-?” Riley started speaking before grabbing the page from my hand._

_“What is it?” I asked, looking over his shoulder._

_“It looks like he’s in a cryogenic tomb. Like he’s being frozen. His body is being preserved.” His eyes were narrowed at the page, trying to pick up any other details from the picture. “Is this really the same guy?” He asked. I looked back down at the page in my hand. His height, weight, name and birthdate were listed, as well as a few personal facts. It was his military documents._

_“There’s nothing on here about another person.” I said, turning the page. There was a picture of the man while he was unconscious._

_He looked unnaturally pale and his lips were a blue color that couldn’t be healthy. His left arm was missing, but there was a bandage around where the limb had been removed. I read the passage below the picture, my face paling at the description of the procedures they had performed on him. “Riley,” I pulled his attention away from the picture in front of him to the page in my hand. “You’re going to want to see this.” I shoved the remainder of the file into his hand, standing from the bed and pacing the room._

_I could see his features changing, a range of emotions flitting across his face. One of the components of my training for the Intellect Service program had been evaluating emotions, and Riley’s were easier to read than anyone’s I had seen before._

_“Why are you gathering this information, Phoebe? What-,”_

The memory stopped again, dissolving into a blur and processing along with the flood of memories that followed it. When I could finally remember where I was- still in Sam’s living room- I felt his hands on his shoulders, shaking me lightly but also supporting me so I could sit up. I opened my eyes, searching for his own. I couldn’t speak and he waited several moments before questioning me.

“What did you remember, Phoebe?” He asked slowly, removing his hands from my shoulders and let me sit straight on my own.

“I remember everything, Sam.” I said, my eyes pricking with tears at the pain in my head. It was slowly reducing as the rush of the memories began to slow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, late again but here's chapter 7! Good news is, this is where it starts to pick up, so I'm going to try to post at least twice a week! (Or any time I can get to a computer, seeing as that's been my problem lately.) 
> 
> Also, I had tickets for a photo op with Sebastian Stan at Chicago's comic con, but apparently his appearance got cancelled? SUPER big bummer for me, that was the most exciting thing I was supposed to do all summer. Sadly, I haven't had much time to work on the sequel but, when classes start again I will definitely have time for it! 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Let me know if you find any mistakes and I hope you enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

When I told Sam about the memory I had experienced back at my house, he was hesitant whether or not we should continue to dig the rest of them up. I hadn’t been woken up in any of the memories I had so far, but if I could recall memories from when Onyx was activated, it meant I had been compromised at some point during my capture.

“I need to get out of here, for now.” I told him, standing from the couch as he rose next to me. He nodded before replying.

“Tony can’t find out about any of this, Phoebe. I know you’ve been close for years, but there was a reason we couldn’t tell you what happened in Sokovia, and he doesn’t need to start digging for answers.” We heard a knock on the door and I froze, not knowing who it could be. Sam walked around his chair to his front window, looking at his door and swearing. “You need to get out of here. Steve and Natasha are here.”

I gave him a confused look, “What are they doing here?” I asked. He just shrugged.

“Dunno. But they can’t know about this, either, Phoebe-” I cut him off before he could continue.

“Sam, they already know about the Winter Soldier coming to my house this morning. They might need help. If they don’t, I’ll leave, but I can’t just skip town when I don’t really know how long it’ll be before I lose consciousness again.” He nodded before heading to the front door.

I lingered in the kitchen, listening to them as they spoke. “I’m sorry about this,” I heard Steve speak, “We need a place to lay low.” I heard Natasha speak next.

“Everyone we know is trying to kill us.” I scoffed at her straightforwardness and shook my head. I knew things were going downhill fast, but I didn’t know they’d start trying to pick us off.

There was a pause before Sam replied. “Not everyone.” He held the door open further for them to walk in, and they were shocked to find me standing in the kitchen. I gave a little wave. Natasha was the first one to talk.

“You do know you’re about to be classified as a missing person, right?” She asked, I could see concern on Steve’s face.

“I’m kind of figuring things out. I’ve got, what, 24 more hours before they can do that? Whatever. Tony cannot know I’m here.” I told them, giving them both accusatory glances.

“Our lips are sealed.” Natasha spoke as Steve held his hands up in surrender. Sam had poured me a mug of coffee and I held it to my lips, sipping slowly. I didn’t know how long it would be before my next memory kicked in, if it even would. I heard Natasha and Steve talking behind me, but I watched as Sam made breakfast.

It wasn’t until I heard Steve call my name that I felt the next surge of pain course through my head. I set the mug on the counter where I was seated, stumbling to find a chair or couch to lie down on. “Sam. Need a couch. Head- hurts.” He rushed to my side and I could hear Natasha and Steve’s concerned voices before the room around me went dark.

_“Onyx Noch’” I heard the man standing above me speak. I was back in the cell in Sokovia. The Doctor and the Winter Soldier had just entered the room. An assistant of some sort followed them behind, wheeling in a machine with a lot of wires attached, and I decided to watch her instead of replying to the doctor._

_That earned me a slap across the face from him. “Reply to me, soldat. Is that your name?”_

_I wouldn’t respond. I had gone through months of training and preparation for this. The doctor spoke quickly in Sokovian to his assistant, and she pulled the cart forward. I was yanked from the ground by a cold, metal arm and pushed into the chair behind me._

_The assistant approached me, attaching some of the wires to my chest and shoulders, which were now exposed after I had taken my jacket off and wrapped it around the wound on my leg._

_“This is your last chance, soldier. Is your name Onyx Noch’?” I grit my teeth in preparation for whatever was to come next, but stayed silent. The doctor moved to the cart, turning a few dials before flipping a switch. I felt the electrical currents rushing through me, causing pain in every part of my body._

_I kept silent for a few seconds before I was overwhelmed, I let out a growling sound that ripped its way from my chest. When the shocks stopped, the doctor approached me again. Before he could say anything, though, a soldier appeared in the doorway, saying something in Sokovian to the doctor._

_He nodded and turned to the man behind me, the Winter Soldier, and gave him orders before exiting the room. “Don’t tell me,” I started sarcastically, turning my head to look at the man, “You want to know my name?” He shook his head, as if he was arguing with himself internally. His eyes suddenly went cold and he stepped forward, grabbing the back of my neck and thrusting my head into the tub of water in front of me._

_He held me under for what could have been two minutes, but I was struggling to get away. He pulled me back up and my back slammed against the chair. I began coughing up the water that had gotten into my lungs._

_“Ready to talk now?” He asked, his hand still on the back of my neck. My body was racking from the coughs I was emitting, but I shook my head._

_“I’m not telling you anything.” I replied, being interrupted by more coughing. He shrugged, letting me finish my coughing fit before pushing my head back under water._

_After the doctor was finished talking with the other man, he reentered the room with a smirk on his face. He signaled for the Soldier to stop just moments before he was about to dunk my head under the water._

_I narrowed my eyes at him, shaking my head to move my hair out of my face so I could see better.  “I’m not talking.” I told him. His face split into a full on grin at my words._

_“Of course you are, Ms. Miller.” I felt a sharp pain in my head at the name, but my face twisted in confusion as I tried to concentrate on the man in front of me._

_“What?” I deadpanned, not sure what he was getting at. I was trained to withstand any torture. I wouldn’t give anything up._

_“We’ve found your records, Phoebe.” He spoke with a Russian accent. I felt as though someone was breaking down walls in my mind, and trying to take control. “Phoebe Jade Miller.” He stated; I felt the walls break down and I responded to the man that woke me up._

_“Where am I?” I asked. He laughed, dark and sinister. The last thing I could remember was Major Allen telling me that I needed to report for a mission assignment. If I was awake now, that meant I was being compromised._

_“Onyx. Dark, not a day in the light.” He read from a paper held in his hand. It was the reactivation code for if I was awoken during a mission. Normally, I would be in a trance for the procedure. No one had tried it while I was conscious._

_I could feel sharp pains behind my ears before he spoke again, “Black in the night, lost in sight.” He was circling around me now, and I struggled against the cuffs on my wrist as the pain in my head turned splitting._

_I glanced around the room. The Winter Soldier was still there. He looked somewhat worried. From what I knew of him, that wasn’t possible. Unless he had been awake too long. My thoughts were cut off as the man spoke again, finishing the code. “Red will rise, come due time.”_

_It felt as though my skull had been cracked open with a knife. I could barely catch my breath and I fell out of the chair. It felt as though flood gates had opened in my thoughts. All my missions, every death I had ever caused rushing through my head._

_I could vaguely hear the doctor laughing somewhere in the room, and the Winter Soldier began yelling. There was the sound of boots on the ground as he was sedated and taken from the room. I couldn’t keep my thoughts straight. The last thing I heard before I lost consciousness was the doctor speaking. “She’s of no use to us in this condition. We could just send her back, but I want to know why she’s here.”_


	9. Chapter 9

When I told Sam about the memory I had experienced back at my house, he was hesitant whether or not we should continue to dig the rest of them up. I hadn’t been woken up in any of the memories I had so far, but if I could recall memories from when Onyx was activated, it meant I had been compromised at some point during my capture.

“I need to get out of here, for now.” I told him, standing from the couch as he rose next to me. He nodded before replying.

“Tony can’t find out about any of this, Phoebe. I know you’ve been close for years, but there was a reason we couldn’t tell you what happened in Sokovia, and he doesn’t need to start digging for answers.” We heard a knock on the door and I froze, not knowing who it could be. Sam walked around his chair to his front window, looking at his door and swearing. “You need to get out of here. Steve and Natasha are here.”

I gave him a confused look, “What are they doing here?” I asked. He just shrugged.

“Dunno. But they can’t know about this, either, Phoebe-” I cut him off before he could continue.

“Sam, they already know about the Winter Soldier coming to my house this morning. They might need help. If they don’t, I’ll leave, but I can’t just skip town when I don’t really know how long it’ll be before I lose consciousness again.” He nodded before heading to the front door.

I lingered in the kitchen, listening to them as they spoke. “I’m sorry about this,” I heard Steve speak, “We need a place to lay low.” I heard Natasha speak next.

“Everyone we know is trying to kill us.” I scoffed at her straightforwardness and shook my head. I knew things were going downhill fast, but I didn’t know they’d start trying to pick us off.

There was a pause before Sam replied. “Not everyone.” He held the door open further for them to walk in, and they were shocked to find me standing in the kitchen. I gave a little wave. Natasha was the first one to talk.

“You do know you’re about to be classified as a missing person, right?” She asked, I could see concern on Steve’s face.

“I’m kind of figuring things out. I’ve got, what, 24 more hours before they can do that? Whatever. Tony cannot know I’m here.” I told them, giving them both accusatory glances.

“Our lips are sealed.” Natasha spoke as Steve held his hands up in surrender. Sam had poured me a mug of coffee and I held it to my lips, sipping slowly. I didn’t know how long it would be before my next memory kicked in, if it even would. I heard Natasha and Steve talking behind me, but I watched as Sam made breakfast.

It wasn’t until I heard Steve call my name that I felt the next surge of pain course through my head. I set the mug on the counter where I was seated, stumbling to find a chair or couch to lie down on. “Sam. Need a couch. Head- hurts.” He rushed to my side and I could hear Natasha and Steve’s concerned voices before the room around me went dark.

_“Onyx Noch’” I heard the man standing above me speak. I was back in the cell in Sokovia. The Doctor and the Winter Soldier had just entered the room. An assistant of some sort followed them behind, wheeling in a machine with a lot of wires attached, and I decided to watch her instead of replying to the doctor._

_That earned me a slap across the face from him. “Reply to me, soldat. Is that your name?”_

_I wouldn’t respond. I had gone through months of training and preparation for this. The doctor spoke quickly in Sokovian to his assistant, and she pulled the cart forward. I was yanked from the ground by a cold, metal arm and pushed into the chair behind me._

_The assistant approached me, attaching some of the wires to my chest and shoulders, which were now exposed after I had taken my jacket off and wrapped it around the wound on my leg._

_“This is your last chance, soldier. Is your name Onyx Noch’?” I grit my teeth in preparation for whatever was to come next, but stayed silent. The doctor moved to the cart, turning a few dials before flipping a switch. I felt the electrical currents rushing through me, causing pain in every part of my body._

_I kept silent for a few seconds before I was overwhelmed, I let out a growling sound that ripped its way from my chest. When the shocks stopped, the doctor approached me again. Before he could say anything, though, a soldier appeared in the doorway, saying something in Sokovian to the doctor._

_He nodded and turned to the man behind me, the Winter Soldier, and gave him orders before exiting the room. “Don’t tell me,” I started sarcastically, turning my head to look at the man, “You want to know my name?” He shook his head, as if he was arguing with himself internally. His eyes suddenly went cold and he stepped forward, grabbing the back of my neck and thrusting my head into the tub of water in front of me._

_He held me under for what could have been two minutes, but I was struggling to get away. He pulled me back up and my back slammed against the chair. I began coughing up the water that had gotten into my lungs._

_“Ready to talk now?” He asked, his hand still on the back of my neck. My body was racking from the coughs I was emitting, but I shook my head._

_“I’m not telling you anything.” I replied, being interrupted by more coughing. He shrugged, letting me finish my coughing fit before pushing my head back under water._

_After the doctor was finished talking with the other man, he reentered the room with a smirk on his face. He signaled for the Soldier to stop just moments before he was about to dunk my head under the water._

_I narrowed my eyes at him, shaking my head to move my hair out of my face so I could see better.  “I’m not talking.” I told him. His face split into a full on grin at my words._

_“Of course you are, Ms. Miller.” I felt a sharp pain in my head at the name, but my face twisted in confusion as I tried to concentrate on the man in front of me._

_“What?” I deadpanned, not sure what he was getting at. I was trained to withstand any torture. I wouldn’t give anything up._

_“We’ve found your records, Phoebe.” He spoke with a Russian accent. I felt as though someone was breaking down walls in my mind, and trying to take control. “Phoebe Jade Miller.” He stated; I felt the walls break down and I responded to the man that woke me up._

_“Where am I?” I asked. He laughed, dark and sinister. The last thing I could remember was Major Allen telling me that I needed to report for a mission assignment. If I was awake now, that meant I was being compromised._

_“Onyx. Dark, not a day in the light.” He read from a paper held in his hand. It was the reactivation code for if I was awoken during a mission. Normally, I would be in a trance for the procedure. No one had tried it while I was conscious._

_I could feel sharp pains behind my ears before he spoke again, “Black in the night, lost in sight.” He was circling around me now, and I struggled against the cuffs on my wrist as the pain in my head turned splitting._

_I glanced around the room. The Winter Soldier was still there. He looked somewhat worried. From what I knew of him, that wasn’t possible. Unless he had been awake too long. My thoughts were cut off as the man spoke again, finishing the code. “Red will rise, come due time.”_

_It felt as though my skull had been cracked open with a knife. I could barely catch my breath and I fell out of the chair. It felt as though flood gates had opened in my thoughts. All my missions, every death I had ever caused rushing through my head._

_I could vaguely hear the doctor laughing somewhere in the room, and the Winter Soldier began yelling. There was the sound of boots on the ground as he was sedated and taken from the room. I couldn’t keep my thoughts straight. The last thing I heard before I lost consciousness was the doctor speaking. “She’s of no use to us in this condition. We could just send her back, but I want to know why she’s here.”_


	10. Chapter 10

_When I awoke again, I had been returned to my cell. My back ached with new bruises, and I could barely stand the pain in my leg long enough to open my eyes. I sat myself up, moving so my back was against the bars of the cell._

_The longer I sat there, the more it felt like someone was watching me. I couldn’t hear anyone speaking this time, and the daylight that had filtered into the cell was gone. I rubbed my head as I tried to process the thoughts and memories filtering through my head._

_Major Allen had told me once that this may happen. If someone were to wake up me- Phoebe- and try to instantly reactivate me, the wall separating the two personas would crumble. He had never seen it happen before, though. I was the first real agent that had succeeded._

_My thoughts would be messy and foggy, until I could find a way to clear them up. If I could find a way to clear them up._

_The feeling of being watch only increased as I tried to sort through the memories, and I decided to give up, engaging whoever was there._

_“Didn’t anyone tell you it’s rude to stare.” I stated, shifting myself so my forehead was leaning against the bars instead of my back. I didn’t hear anyone reply, but I did see a glint of a light somewhere down the corridor reflecting off metal. “They send you for babysitting duty?” I asked, hoping the man would step into the light._

_“Just watching.” I heard the deep voice reply, confirming my suspicions. It was the Winter Soldier._

_“They don’t have to watch me. It’s not like I can get through these bars. I might be small but I’m not this small.” I reached my arm through one of the bars, holding it out in his direction. I didn’t hear anything, but I could tell he had taken a small step forward. I could see more of his arm, now._

_“They didn’t send me.” He grunted out. He didn’t move or speak again, so I decided to try and goad a response._

_“What, you got a crush or something?” I waved my hand around a bit. The hunger and dehydration were getting to my head, and I really just wanted company. It was better than thinking to myself._

_“I’m not sure what that is.” He sounded genuinely stumped, and I could feel my face twist in confusion. I knew from Major Allen that he had been brainwashed, but I didn’t know how much it had actually affected him._

_“How long you been awake?” I asked, sighing as my arm started to ache from the tension. He looked confused at my question._

_“Since Sokovia.” He replied anyway. I could tell the others hadn’t sent him here. After the scene he caused in the room with the doctor, they probably wanted him as far away as possible from me. If he had been awake since Sokovia, they must have known we had come after him._

_I covered the small sensor on the bracelet the commander had given me. This was the closest I would get to securing him. “Their time’s ticking, krasivyy,” (Handsome) I spoke quietly. He knew Russian. It was what they had trained him with. “Come with me and you’ll get the answers you need.” I heard an explosion to the east of where I was being held. I knew my men were here._

_I laid back onto the hard ground, awaiting them. I had no way of holding the Soldier there. If he was far enough out of his trance, he’d come with us willingly. If he didn’t, that wasn’t my fault._

“Tony’s gonna kill us,” I could hear Steve talking as I came to. I was lying on the couch. Someone had their hands on my throat, like they were checking for a pulse.

“Tony’s gonna kill _me_ if he finds out what I’ve actually been up to.” I spoke, opening my eyes and propping myself up on the couch. Steve and Natasha gave me confused looks. Sam was waiting to hear what the memory had been about. “The Winter Soldier keeps coming back to me because he’s remembering. Even if he doesn’t realize it. He remembers me.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Steve asked. Natasha looked just as confused.

“Right now, don’t worry about it.” I said, sitting myself up before standing from the couch. I stumbled a little but caught myself. “I’ve got shit to do. Tony doesn’t need to know I was here. Tony doesn’t need to know about any of this.” I pointed at all of them and they agreed silently.

I grabbed my jacket from where I had left it by Sam’s door, heading out to my car.

I still know where Major Allen lives, if he hasn’t been deployed recently. He was one of the most prominent people in all of my memories, except Commander Mager.

The drive to his home only took around fifteen minutes, but it took another ten for me to get out and walk to his front door. As I stood on the step and waited for someone to answer the door, I wrung my hands together, filtering through the memories again.

The door swung open suddenly and I was yanked inside by my wrist. By instinct, I brought my leg up and swung it around to kick the person who had seized me, and they let out a shout of pain before stepping back. I looked up to find Graham Allen standing in front of me, pain evident on his face. “Sorry.” I shrugged, “Instincts.” He let out a laugh and pulled me close for a hug before holding me at arms length.

“What are you doing here, Phoebe?” He asked. He looked concerned.

“Sam Wilson helped me trigger my memories. Not all of them but enough. I need a place to lay low for a while, SHIELD has been infiltrated by HYDRA and Fury,” I paused as my voice cracked, “Fury thought they might come after me if they find out who I was.” He nodded sympathetically. He had probably heard about Fury from a friend.

“So you remember what? Just Phoebe memories?” He asked. I knew he was hinting at whether or not I knew about Onyx.

“No,” I sighed, “I remember Onyx memories. All of them. All of it.” He led me to the couch to sit down. We were silent for a while before I spoke up again. “What happened to him? I was unconscious before Sam showed up. He was there when I passed out.” He knew I was talking about the Winter Soldier.

“When our men found you, the Soldier tried to fight them off. He thought we were some other terrorist group that wanted you for our own gain. When they told him they were there to rescue you, he backed off. They said he just hid in the shadows until they couldn’t find him anymore. Your heart rate was too slow and they were too worried about getting you back to base to chase him.” I nodded and took a deep breath.

“HYDRA came back for him. He’s been wiped. I feel like it’s my fault, since I didn’t stay awake. We could have gotten him out of there.” Graham shook his head quickly, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

“What Mager had planned for him wasn’t any better than what he’s doing now. He didn’t have the supplies to keep him in cryo. His memories would have come back. He probably would have gone off the wall. He probably will if he makes it out of this.” He sighed and ran a hand over his face.

I shook my head. “There’s things I don’t remember,” I finally admitted, straining to reach for the empty spaces in my memories. “I don’t remember anything after Mager recruited me for the program. Not until the first mission. I know I had a lot of training. It helped me persevere. But I don’t remember specifics.” He nodded.

“I didn’t get to know you until you started the program. That was about a week after you were recruited. You weren’t really coherent. The week prior they had drilled the activation code and wiped your memories from your second persona. It was a clean slate for them to work with.

“I was in charge of transporting you for your training. Some days you seemed alright, but others you didn’t talk. You were either spaced out or passed out. Sometimes you came back with bruises or blood. I always made sure you were cleaned up and in bed before I left. You never talked about your training.

“Sometimes they would wake you up before the training was over and you would tell me about your brother or your mother. I always knew Tony’d kill us if he found out what you were doing. Even if you had signed up for it.” He laughed and leaned back on his couch before continuing.

“I don’t know what kind of things they had you doing during training, but whatever it was, it’s a good thing you don’t remember it. If I were you, I wouldn’t reach for it. If they didn’t come out with the rest of Onyx’s memories, they’re buried deeper than I expected.” I nodded and shifted my feet for a moment before standing again.

“I need to help him. I told him I’d help him find answers.” I paced to the window and looked out into the street.

“Phoebe, you don’t even know him.” Graham said, coming to stand next to me. I shook my head.

“I know, Graham. But, until today, I didn’t even know myself. It’s always been there, what happened. It’s just been buried. He’s going through the same thing. I know I can help.” He nodded and pulled me into a tight hug.

“You care too much for your own good.” He said, rubbing my back gently. I nodded before pulling away.

We said our goodbyes, and I returned to my car again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, you guys get two chapters today because I messed up and didn't post one on Wednesday! I'm sorry and let me know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm very sorry about the late update! However, I've had to postpone the second story for another week because of classes, so the late chapter was a little necessary. And I'm back now!! Thank you all for being understanding! Let me know your thoughts and opinions!

It hadn’t been the best idea but, after spending about ten minutes in my car, I switched my phone on again. I quickly bypassed the missed calls from Tony and found Steve’s contact, hitting the call button and holding it to my ear as my fingers tapped the steering wheel impatiently.

“Phoebe, what do you not get about laying low?” Steve answered after the first ring. I snorted into the speaker.

“Tony is going to find out where I am one way or another. What did you guys find?” I could hear Natasha say something in the background before he replied.

“Pierce is the one that launched the domestic missile strike to try and wipe out Natasha and I. There’s this algorithm made by a German scientist, Arnmin Zola, back during the war and we think they’re going to use it when they launch project insight. The algorithm was on the Lemurian Star; Natasha extracted it while we were on that mission. We just don’t know what it does yet.” I stayed silent for a moment, thinking through their discoveries.

“Where are you headed next? I’ll meet you there.” I stepped on my break and hit the ignition, starting the car and waiting for Steve to reply.

“We have to make a stop first, but meet us downtown in about an hour. We’ve gotta find Sitwell and figure out what the algorithm is before Insight launches.” I nodded, agreeing with him and pulled into the street before replying.

“I’ll tail Sitwell until then. Shoot me a message when you get into town.” There was a slight scuffle on the other end of the line before I heard Natasha speak into the receiver.

“Phoebe, please call Tony or let him know you’re okay. He’s losing it.” I could hear the irritation in her voice. He had probably tried reaching them when my phone had turned back on.

“I can’t give him answers, Natasha. He’s going to try to kidnap me and drag me back to Malibu if he finds anything out.” I swallowed hard, my voice showing my obvious distress at the thought.

“I know you can’t. But he needs to know you’re okay.” I agreed and we said our goodbyes. I was following the flow of traffic towards the Triskelion and glancing at my phone, wondering if it was right to call Tony.

I let out a frustrated sigh and picked up my phone again, hitting Tony’s number and holding the phone to my ear. He answered before it could even ring. I cut him off before he could say anything, though.

“Tony, just listen. I’m sorry I had to do this. I’m okay, I just have some things that I need to sort out right now. I promise-,” I was cut off when the black SUV that had been driving next to me swerved into my lane, slamming into the side of my car.

My phone flew from my hand, and I used my arms to cover my head so the glass from my shattered windshield wouldn’t get in my eyes. My car was thrown into the guardrail to the left of me, my door was crushed and I could feel the metal digging into my side. My airbag had gone off at some point and my arms, along with every other part of my body, ached as I moved it away from my face.

When I could finally look up, there were men dressed in black surrounding my car, black SUV’s lined up behind them. I was surrounded and with my injuries, I knew I wasn’t going to get out of this any time soon. I held my hands up in surrender.

 A few of the men came forward, easily pulling my car away from the guard rail before ripping the door off it’s hinges. I yelped in pain as the metal that had pierced my skin was ripped away suddenly. I could see the traffic surrounding us and made an attempt to hide my face, I didn’t need any pictures of this on the news. One of the men approached me, yanking me from the car. I stumbled on my feet, dizzy from the amount of blood that I had already lost.

The man shoved me to the ground on my knees, and yelled for me to keep my hands behind my head. I did as he said, flinching as he held a gun to my head.

“Not here!” I heard someone yell. The voice sounded familiar. I looked up from my position on the ground and found myself staring at none other than Brock Rumlow. “Pierce needs her for Insight.” He growled, turning to open the door on the closest SUV. “Get her inside. Let’s go!”

I was pulled to my feet again, my head spinning as I was shoved into the SUV, a seatbelt buckled around me. I could feel myself losing consciousness as someone began yelling about medical help, and the world around me went dark again.

When I came to, I couldn’t recognize where I was. My eyes couldn’t focus on any of my surroundings and all I could tell was that I was tied to a chair. There was noise all around me and I felt a bandage covering my side from the accident. I felt a hand on my cheek, lightly slapping me awake, and I groaned, moving my head.

“C’mon, girl. We’re gonna need your help here.” Alexander Pierce’s voice broke through my fog and I was finally able to focus my vision, seeing him standing above me. “There she is.” He gave a grin and patted my cheek, signaling for one of the agents dressed in black to untie my hands.

“Should’ve known you were HYDRA scum.” I mumbled under my breath. He feigned a hurt look. “Who the fuck rejects a Nobel Peace Prize? No one.” I felt my hands tingle as they were released, the blood rushing back to them at a normal pace. He laughed shortly, but I was forced to stand and stumbled again.

“I always knew you had some bite to you.” He replied, motioning for the agent holding my arm to follow behind him. I was led through a series of control rooms before we came to a stop in the last one. Commander Mager was sat in the room, looking slightly uncomfortable in a large office chair. When he saw me, he had apology written all over his face.

I was forced into one of the chairs off to the side as Alexander moved to shake the commander’s hand. “You think you can dig her out?” He asked the commander sarcastically, a smile on his face. My face contorted in confusion.

Mager laughed before responding, “I’m the only one that knows how.” He said, returning to his seat as Alexander took his own.

“Insight launches in about five hours. The algorithm shouldn’t take that long for her to decrypt, is that correct?” He asked Mager. He seemed to be addressing other people as well, and when I turned to look behind me, there were several agents and some men in suits. Mager nodded in response before Pierce started talking again. “From there, we’ll only have to initiate the launch from the headquarters. I don’t want anyone interrupting her once she’s begun decoding. No chances of fucking this up. The World Security Council is going to be here, and this needs to be executed as smoothly as possible. Understood?”

I was still a bit dizzy from the amount of blood that I had lost, and I felt as though I was still half asleep. When everyone in the room had agreed, a couple of guards came forward and moved me into a different chair at the center of the monitors. I was faced away from them, though, and it was hard to keep my eyes focused on anything.

I saw Alexander nod, and the majority of the people in the room left; leaving just him and Mager in the room with me. He closed the door behind them and Mager came to stand in front of me. He stood, snapping his fingers just inches from my face. My vision became even more blurry around the edges, but focused on his figure in front of me.

Finally finding my voice, I spoke up. “You’re not gonna find anything, Mager.” I slurred slightly, becoming slightly dizzier, “They deactivated Onyx when they got their chance.” I wasn’t sure how much Mager knew about my being captured by HYDRA, or if anyone knew that they had deactivated the soldier commander Mager had worked so hard to create, but the laugh he gave when he heard me speak told me he already knew.

He tilted my head back slightly so I was looking up to him before he spoke, “No one knew this Onyx existed except you and I, Phoebe. I made sure of that. This was a different level of training; one no one could ever know about. This was only to be uncovered when Zola’s algorithm was deciphered, and that day has come.” He reached into a bag next to the chair he had been sitting in when I first entered the room, pulling out a small red book with a Soviet star on the front of it.

Shaking my head, I moved to rub my temples, confused at what he was saying. “What did you do to me, Commander?” I asked. I felt my arms being forcedly held to my side after a moment, my head moved so I was facing him again. There was still a slightly apologetic look in his eye, as if he didn’t even want to be there. As if he was being forced to be there.

He approached me again, opening the book and turning about half way through. He finally reached up, touching a point on my forehead and then the tip of my nose before speaking. My vision was still blurry, the only thing I could focus on was my hearing.

_“Onyx. Dark, not a day in the light. Black in the night, lost in sight.”_

I heard him begin the activation chant to wake up Onyx, and my thoughts clouded. It seemed as though my memories of all my personal life were draining from my mind.

_“Red will rise, come due time.”_ I felt the last of the memories drain, leaving me dazed and confused before a few memories began to trickle in. There were memories of training, my head being held under water for almost five minutes at a time, shocks being registered throughout my body and pain from my head to my toes.

_“Scarlet sin, peace will win”_ With the last phrase, a snap in my memories occurred as I was flooded with different theories, methods and algorithms. I straightened my back, my sight coming back to me as I looked Commander Mager directly in the eyes.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

When the flow of memories slowed, Mager spoke again. “Soldat?” (Soldier)

“Gotovy soblyudat.” (Ready to comply) I replied, awaiting instruction. I saw a man to the side smile, but kept my attention focused on the commander.

“Decrypt Zola’s algorithm and transfer it to Project Insight. Establish the algorithm to work on command when launched.” I nodded, turning to the computers behind me.

During my physical training with Commander Mager, I also had educational lessons. He taught me Zola’s Algorithm, which had been encrypted so anyone that wasn’t part of HYDRA wouldn’t understand it. With my extensive knowledge of encryption, it only took me two training sessions to decrypt the entire text. Mager had me memorize the entire decryption.

With the technology I had in front of me, it would take me less than two hours to decrypt the entire algorithm.

I turned my focus to the computer in front of me, my fingers flying over the keys below. I heard Mager and the other man talking in hushed voices, but I couldn’t spare the time to pay attention to them.

An hour and thirty-six minutes later, I had finished decrypting the code. I used the program on the computer to transfer the decrypted algorithm to Project Insight, initiating a command for when they wanted to launch it.

The program was half way transferred when a voice interrupted my focus. “Attention, all SHIELD agents. This is Steve Rogers. You've heard a lot about me over the last few days, some of you were even ordered to hunt me down.” I surveyed the room as the voice played. The second man had left the control room, only the commander was left.

He seemed frozen in his spot when he heard the man speaking over the intercom. “But I think it's time you know the truth. SHIELD is not what we thought it was, it's been taken over by HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is their leader.” I looked at Mager with question in my eyes. I had never heard of SHIELD before.

“The STRIKE and Insight crew are HYDRA as well. I don't know how many more, but I know they're in the building. They could be standing right next to you. They almost have what they want: absolute control. They shot the Nick Fury, they kidnapped Tony Stark’s little sister to do their dirty work, and it won't end there.” The man’s voice was giving me a headache. It felt as though there was a pressure on my brain.

“If you launch those Helicarriers today, HYDRA will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way, unless we stop them. I know I'm asking a lot, but the price of freedom is high, it always has been, and it's a price I'm willing to pay. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. But I'm willing to bet I'm not.”

I thought that was was the end of the man’s speech, so I turned back to the computer, checking the program transfer’s progress. It was almost done. But then, I heard the man’s voice again. “And Phoebe Miller, if you’re here, we could use a hand.”

My head surged with pain and it was like the floodgates had opened. All of my memories came back to me, the theories, algorithms, and training of Onyx rushed from my mind and I had to hold my head in my hands because I was becoming so dizzy. I heard Commander Mager move behind me, but I stood quickly, swinging my fist at his gut and kicking my leg up to knock him down. I kept my boot on his chest after he landed. He looked up to me with fear in his eyes.

“I’m not your fucking puppet anymore.” I spat down to him, but he shook his head, looking to the monitors that I had abandoned. The program had already been transferred and Project Insight was almost ready to launch.

I swore to myself, landing another kick in the man’s ribs before running from the room, finding my way back to the main floor. I was in the Triskelion. I recognized the layout from my last few years of working here.

When I reached the main floor, there were three STRIKE agents waiting for me. I reached for the one closest to me, grabbing him by the collar and swinging my knee up to connect with his nose. I took the gun from his hands and aimed it at the other two, who also had theirs aimed at me.

“Put it down!” One yelled, reaching for the trigger with his finger. I pulled mine first, aiming at the other man and shooting him as well. I kept the gun at my side, taking the stairs to where I knew Pierce would be meeting with the World Security Council, if they were still alive.

When I rounded the corner, I saw Natasha standing with her gun pointed at Peirce. “I’m sorry. Did I step on your moment?” She asked, a sinister smile plastered on her face.

Pierce looked over her shoulder as he spotted me entering the conference room, and a smirk found its way to his face. I couldn’t help but smirk back. He thought I was still fighting for his side; he didn’t know that I had been compromised.

“I wouldn’t look so happy if I were you, Pierce.” I laughed, “I’ve got my own mind, now.” I pointed my gun at him as well, and Natasha glanced at me.

I must have looked worse for the wear because she had a concerned look in her eye. “What the hell did they do to you?” She asked, turning her glare back to Alexander.

I shrugged lightly, “We’ll talk about it later.” I replied, ending the conversation. She quickly tossed her gun to Councilman Singh, who aimed it back at Pierce, before approaching the computer at the center of the room, pulling up several different screens. I kept my eyes locked firmly on Pierce’s, who still seemed confused that I was no longer working for him.

It was only a few moments before the silence was broken by Councilman Rockwell. He was watching Natasha intently. “What are you doing?” He asked. Natasha didn’t get a chance to answer.

Pierce walked around the table toward her but I stayed put, my gun locked on him just in case. “She’s disabling security protocols and dumping all the secrets onto the internet.” He informed them.

“Including HYDRA’s.” She added, not looking up from the computer. Alexander didn’t miss a beat before responding.

“And SHIELD’s. If you do this, none of your past is gonna remain hidden.” He seemed to think this would deter her, but she just kept typing. “Are you sure you’re ready for the world to see you as you really are?” He asked before turning to me, “Are you sure you’re ready for Tony to see who you really are?” I shrugged but Natasha was the only one to reply.

“Are you?” Even I had to give her credit for that one. I circled the table to stand next to Natasha, watching her work. She had nearly passed all of the protocols, but the files were still encrypted.

“Disabling the encryption is an executive order.” He said, a smug look in his eyes. “It takes two Alpha Level members.”

Natasha stayed straight faced as she replied. “Don’t worry, company’s coming.” Pierce turned as a helicopter landed on the stretch just opposite the conference room, a look of disbelief on his face. I turned to Natasha, her words finally registering in my mind, and she gave me a small smile and a nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright here's chapter 12!! There's only 15 chapters, so we're getting there!! Again, I had to skip my post on Wednesday because of school and all that crazy stuff. I'm also very excited about the next story, it's coming along really well! I've had a lot of comments asking for longer chapters. Basically, what I did with this story was, I just wrote it. It was all one huge, 21,000 word story. Then, I went through and divided it into chapters. Some are longer, some are shorter, but I wanted to get the right area to cut the chapter off, so it wasn't a huge cliffhanger at the end. Let me know what you guys think, I love hearing your opinions!


	13. Chapter13

“No fucking way.” I said, as I watched Director Fury emerge from the helicopter and enter the building. He seemed shocked and slightly upset to see me there, which I assumed was because he had told me that I needed to skip town when this had all started.

Alexander was the first to speak as Fury entered the room. “Did you get my flowers?” He asked. Fury didn’t look at all amused by his joke. “I’m glad you’re here, Nick.” He said. I rolled my eyes.

“Really?” He replied, “Cause I though you had me killed.”

“You know how the game works.” Alexander replied quietly. I could tell Fury was just becoming more frustrated.

“Then why make me the head of SHIELD?” He asked, real question on his features.

“Cause you’re the best and the most ruthless person I ever met.” He replied, seemingly at ease with the situation. Nick was quick to reply.

“I did what I did to protect people.” He said, obvious unease at Alexander’s suggestion. Pierce wasn’t swayed.

“Our enemies are your enemies, Nick. Disorder, war. It's just a matter of time before a dirty bomb goes off in Moscow, or an EMP fries Chicago. Diplomacy? Holding action, a band-aid. And you know where I learned that; Bogota. You didn't ask, you just did what had to be done. I can bring order to the lives of seven billion people by sacrificing twenty million. It's the next step, Nick, if you have the courage to take it.”

It hurt to listen to him as he spoke. He was so obviously disillusioned by what he thought was right. It was the same way Commander Mager had taught me during my training as Onyx. I couldn’t believe all of the lies and deception they had put in my mind.

“No, I have the courage not to.” Fury replied. He led Pierce to the retinal scanner as Natasha took her gun back, again pointing it at Pierce as I was.

He laughed under his breath as he approached the scanner. “You don’t think we wiped your clearance from the system?” Nick nodded before he replied.

“I know you erased my password, probably deleted my retinal scan, but if you want to stay ahead of me, Mr. Secretary,” He paused, lifting up his eyepatch and revealing his scarred eye, “You need to keep both eyes open.” I could barely hold back a snort at his half-assed joke as he and Pierce stepped up to the scanner.

“Alpha Level confirmed. Encryption code accepted. Safeguards removed.” The automated voice came over the speakers. The data had been released to the world. Anyone who wanted to know anything about us would be able to find it in an instant.

We watched the screen as the files were released, and Natasha pulled out her phone, opening her webpages to search for the information before she broke the silence. “Done.” She said, scrolling down the page, “And it’s trending.”

Just then Pierce pulled out his phone, hitting a button. The pins on the jackets of the council members lit up, burning deeply into their sternum. I quickly pointed my gun back at him, as did Fury and Natasha.

“Unless you want a two-inch hole in your sternum,” He said, addressing Natasha, “I’d put that gun down.” She didn’t back down, her grip on the gun just tightened. “That was armed the moment you pinned it on.” He said. Both Natasha and Fury lowered their guns, and I followed their lead.

“Lieutenant, how much longer?” he asked. A voice came over the speakers in reply.

“Sixty-five seconds to satellite link. Target reengaged. Lowering weapons array.” I watched out the window as the array was lowered from the helicarrier, hoping Steve was quick enough to get there and stop it.

I looked to Natasha when she nodded to Fury, and then me. Steve had been able to get there in time. We watched as the helicarriers weapon targets opened fire on each other.

“What a waste.” Peirce said, a somber look on his face.

“Are you still on the fence about Roger’s chances?” Natasha asked. Pierce gave her a dark look.

“It’s time to go, councilwoman. Come on.” He grabbed her by the arm, pulling her to the door, “You’re gonna fly me out of here.” He held his phone as though he was still threatening her.

“You know, there was a time when I would have taken a bullet for you.” Fury said, unmoving.

“You already did!” Pierce replied. “You will again, when-,” He was cut off as Natasha activated her own pin, distracting Pierce.

Fury grabbed a gun from an agent lying on the ground, aiming it and shooting at Pierce before turning to look at me. Shrugging, I aimed my gun as well, shooting him a second time. Fury gave a sad smile at that before walking to where Natasha laid on the ground, unconscious.

“Romanoff!” He said, scared to touch her in case she was injured. “Natasha! Natasha, come on!” Finally, she opened her eyes. I crouched next to her before she spoke.

“Ow. Those things really do sting.” I actually let out a snort at her comment, helping her to her feet as we ran in the direction of Fury’s chopper. I climbed in the back, strapping myself in next to Natasha and putting on the headset next to me. It took a few moments Fury to get it into the air, and then Sam spoke. Well, he yelled.

“Please tell me you got that chopper in the air!” He yelled into the headpiece. I looked down at the Triskelion, seeing one of the helicarriers had crashed into the side of the building. Panic ran through me.

“Sam! Where are you?” I yelled back, watching as the helicarrier fell further into the building.

“Forty first floor, north west corner!” He yelled back. It was obvious he was running from where the helicarrier had crashed.

“We’re on it!” Natasha replied, steering the chopper in the direction Sam had told us. “Stay where you are!” She added.

“That’s not an option!” He yelled back, still running. We had circled the building to get on the right side before we heard the sound of glass shattering through the headset as Sam jumped from the building.

Looking up, I saw his form falling, “He’s above us!” I yelled. Fury tipped the plane sideways and Sam came crashing through my side, hitting the door on Natasha’s end as she grabbed on to him and Fury righted the plane again. Sam was breathing heavily as he finally found his balance.

“Forty first floor!” He yelled. “Forty first!” I laughed lightly and helped him onto the seat between Natasha and I

“It’s not like they put the floor numbers on the outside of the building!” Fury yelled from up front. Sam just rolled his eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

Natasha was leaning out the side of the chopper, searching the damage for any sign of Steve. “Hill, where’s Steve? You got a location on Rogers?”

Maria didn’t answer, but we kept our eyes on the helicarrier that we knew Steve and the Winter Soldier were in. After a few moments, part of the machine broke off, and we watched as a body tumbled out.

I could tell it was Steve by the uniform. It was the one he had used during the war. Without a second thought, I unhooked my seatbelt and tossed off the headset, jumping from the helicopter before Sam or Natasha could try to talk me out of it. I knew the water below was deep, and I didn’t know if anyone else would come to save him. When I finally hit the water, I began searching. I spotted his body a few feet away from me, and he was unconscious.

Grabbing one of his arms, I pulled him above the water. He seemed to be breathing, but he didn’t wake up.

Just then, another figure surfaced from the river. It was the Winter Soldier. We shared a look before he grabbed Steve’s other arm, and we swam him to the edge of the river as quickly as we could manage together.

Once Steve was laid on the bank of the river, I checked his pulse. It was still there. When I stood up straight, the soldier began walking away.

“Wait.” I called after him. He stopped for a moment and turned around, a slightly frustrated look on his face. “Where are you going now?” I asked.

He kept his features blank and just shrugged, but I decided to follow after him down the bank of the river. He knew I was there, but he didn’t turn around to say anything.

We walked along the bank for about half a mile before we heard the sirens searching for Steve. We took cover in the trees, they were thick enough where we were at that we wouldn’t be seen unless someone got extremely close. He crouched on the ground, his breathing evening out as I crouched across from him.

“I’m dangerous.” He stated, his face blank. I wasn’t sure what he meant by that.

“I know what you are.” I replied, “Apparently so am I.” I sighed and wiped the sweat off my forehead from the heat.

“I don’t know who I am.” His face looked sad, maybe even tired, but I could tell he still had an emotional wall up.

“They told me your name is Bucky.” I told him. He nodded, but didn’t reply. “Look, I don’t know who I am, either. And I can’t go home until I figure that out. And you don’t have anywhere to go but you’re Steve’s best friend and if he can’t watch over you, I will. I know enough to know that I was created around the intention of finding you. I need to know why that is.” He shook his head and opened his mouth, but it took him a few moments before he spoke.

“You could get yourself killed with me.” I shrugged and he rolled his eyes at my stubbornness, but I cut him off before he could speak again.

“I’m going to be facing months of tests and questions and judgments if I go back and I’m not ready for that. I don’t want to be picked apart like an experiment, and I know you don’t either. I’ll help you if you help me.” He seemed to be deep in thought for a moment, staring somewhere behind me, but I didn’t look away from him.

Finally, he looked back at me and nodded. “I have something I need to do first.” He said. I nodded back and stood, holding my hand out to help him up. He didn’t take it but he did stand. He looked a little lost for a moment.

“Do you have anything you need to take with you?” I asked. He shook his head. I pulled my wallet from the inside pocket of my work jacket. I had cash but I would need more. I couldn’t risk using my cards while we were running.

“We can stop by a couple of ATMs so I can pull money out, then I’ll get you where you need to go.” He nodded and I gestured for him to walk in front of me. I didn’t want him trying to sneak away. I needed to get out of here before Tony learned about everything online, and I wasn’t going to be able to do it by myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, today you guys get two updates! I'm going out of town this weekend with no service, so I just wanted you guys to have them in advance! Let me know what your thoughts are! I love hearing from you guys!


	15. Chapter 15

When we were still in the cover of the trees, I helped him take his jacket off so he didn’t look as threatening out in public. He was only wearing a tank top underneath, and it was soaked with blood and grime.

“Okay,” I said, “new plan. We’re gonna follow the tree cover until we get to a clothing store. I’ll run in and grab clothes for both of us, since I’m just a little wet and you look like someone who just killed a lot of people.” He cringed and I gave an apologetic smile, but he continued walking in the direction we were headed before.

It took us about fifteen minutes before we reached the first store. It was a gas station, but it was also a convenience store. They had an ATM symbol on their sign, so I decided it was the best bet.

“I’ll grab something to eat and carry our stuff in. I’ve got enough in cash to last us for a while, but I need to pull more out because I’m sure we’re not staying here.” He nodded. “You, stay here, okay?” He nodded again. “Is there anything specific that you want?” I asked him. He thought about it for a moment.

“A notebook.” I was a little confused by his request but I nodded, making him promise to be there when I returned.

I pulled up the hood of my jacket as I entered, making sure my hair was covering some of my features. It was still damp, so it clung to my face in places.

I headed for the ATM in the back of the store first. I had several different bank accounts, two of my own and one that Tony had put money in when I worked for him. I knew the maximum amount people can withdraw a day is $500, but Tony and I’s banks had made an exception in case of emergencies, like this one.

Our bank had made a maximum withdraw amount of $2,500. I didn’t want to throw anyone off, but they probably knew that I had been involved in the attacks that had happened today, so they would probably be expecting it. I only used the card linked to Tony’s, and I would use the other two somewhere else to throw Tony off. I knew he’d be trying everything to find me.

After I pulled the money out and slipped it in my wallet, I circled the store. I picked up a couple of shirts with ‘I <3 D.C.’ on the front, one in a small and one in a 2XL, because I didn’t know what size Bucky would fit in. I grabbed a black backpack with a clip on the front- there would probably be a lot of travelling on foot and we would need a sturdy bag- before grabbing a notebook. I picked up few pens as well, and had to grab a basket to put everything in.

I threw in a couple of pairs of sweatpants and a dark green hoodie, along with a baseball cap before heading to the front of the store. There were a lot more people than there would usually be in the store, and the cashiers at the front looked way out of their element. No one paid me much attention as I was walking around.

I walked through the aisles of snacks, realizing I didn’t really know what he liked. I grabbed a few small bags of chips, and two one-liter bottles of water before heading to the small cooler at the end of one of the aisles that held fresh fruits, grabbing a small container of mixed fruits and a bag with a couple of plums in it.

I checked over the items I had picked up, I headed to the front, keeping an eye out to make sure there was no one suspicious in the store. Most people were just milling about around the televisions, and I assumed they were waiting for any news coverage of the huge ships that had just launched into the air and destroyed each other. So far, the news anchors were still miles away from the scene, having been denied any closer access.

I headed for the checkout, and the girl that helped me barely paid me any attention. I spun around the small rack of sunglasses to my right, grabbing a couple of pairs and placing them on the counter, as well. The girl- Sarah, her name tag said- decided to try and make small talk with me after a few more moments of silence.

“First time visiting D.C.?” She asked, folding the shirts and moving to put them in a plastic bag.

“Uh, you can just put that all in the backpack. And yeah, we just saw whatever happened out there, we’re heading back home now.” She nodded and laughed slightly.

“I don’t blame you. I’d skip town too if this was my summer vacation.” I didn’t reply, and she told me my total.

I pulled out my wallet again swiped my card, bypassing the debit option and just hitting credit instead. I didn’t want to spend the cash I had gotten out yet, and if Tony checked my bank records he would already know this was where I had stopped to pull money out.

The girl handed the bag back to me over the counter before speaking again. “Thanks for stopping by! I hope you guys have a better time wherever you’re headed.” She gave me a sad smile and I thanked her before rushing out to where I had left Bucky.

He was still standing in the same exact spot, and I contemplated asking if he had even blinked since I left. I set the bag on the ground, crouching and reaching in for the shirt. I stood up straight, ripping of the tags and size stickers.

“I wasn’t really sure what size you wear. Or what you like, honestly. I just kind of went with it.” He reached for the hem of his tank top, pulling it off and leaving him shirtless.

My breath caught anxiously as I took in the wounds that littered his torso, landing on where the metal of his arm fused to the skin, and I spun around quickly. “Okay, so, people typically give warnings if they’re about to take their shirts off.”

I held the shirt out behind me and he grabbed it. He took a moment to reply. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He said quietly. I turned my head slightly, making sure he had pulled the shirt over his head before I spoke again.

“It’s not that I’m uncomfortable,” I stuttered slightly, trying to figure out how to explain myself. “It’s just my brother- he’s really protective- I haven’t been with a guy since, uh, before I joined special forces. And you know how that ended- at least, you did. I’m not sure if you still do…” His face contorted and it seemed like he was thinking back.

“Things still aren’t clear.” He said. I nodded, swallowing hard before he spoke up again. “Did you get the notebook?” I nodded in reply, crouching and pulling it out for him to see before pulling out the jacket I had gotten for him and tossing it to him.

“We’ll have to find a way to cover up your hand.” I gestured down to the metal appendage and he nodded in agreement, “Just keep it in your pocket for a while.” He slipped the jacket over his shoulders, it fit him well. I sorted out the items in the bag before pulling out the sunglasses, handing a pair to him and slipping mine on.

I stood up again, slinging the backpack over my shoulders and clipping it into place before looking back to Bucky, giving him a small smile.

“So, where are we going first?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so, it's been a while, and I know you guys have been waiting for this. I've been having a lot of trouble with my classes and I lost five chapters of the second story in this series so I took a bit of a break from everything. This is technically the last "chapter" of the story, but I also have an epilogue which I'll upload immediately following this! Otherwise, I will probably be taking a small break and completing more of the second story before I post it. I'm sorry that I've been so inconsistent with my uploads! Thank you so much for putting up with me, and I PROMISE I will be back with the second story! I love all you readers!


	16. Epilogue

I sat on a stone bench with my back to the museum, my dark blue hood pulled up over my head, covering my hair that was pulled back in a braid. I had a pair of aviators on, covering my face so I wouldn’t be recognizable.

Bucky’s only suggestion was that we stop by the Smithsonian before we left. We still weren’t sure where we were going, but he was sure that he could find some kind of answer here.

Our faces were covering the news. I had officially been reported as a missing person, and some news stations were speculating that the Winter Soldier had possibly kidnapped me, but Steve was quick to deny those. There had also been some assumption that I had drowned after jumping from the helicopter, but since a body was never recovered, they kept the missing persons report.

When the file release became public, people learned more about me than I knew about myself, but there were still answers that were missing. I was gathering everything I could find to figure out where I needed to go.

But, I still had ends I needed to tie up. So, here I am. Sitting on a bench in front of the Smithsonian, writing out a letter to send to Tony before we leave. It was hard to think of what I could say to him.

He had released his own public statement just a few hours ago, and he had looked a wreck. I knew it was probably tearing him apart, all the things I had done while I was in Special Forces. The files they had released were extremely graphic. They even had videos of some of my training.

I flipped open the notebook in my lap, grabbing the pen beside me.

 

_Tee,_

_I know I should have contacted you sooner, and I’m sorry. In the last few days, everything has changed for me. Everything I thought I knew about the seven years I spent in the Special Forces was a complete lie. And you probably know that now. I was used as a weapon for HYDRA. A lot like the Winter Soldier was, only worse._

_What the files haven’t told you, though, is about that last mission I went on._

_When I woke up, you told me how the Ten Rings had kidnapped me after I tried to rescue a church full of kidnapped children in Sokovia. The only part of that story that’s true, is that I was at a church in Sokovia._

_My commander sent me to that church, while Onyx was activated, to find the Winter Soldier. I was told that if I couldn’t get to him first, I had to kill the remainder of my team, and be captured by HYDRA. That way, they could destroy the base and find him themselves._

_I killed my team for my mission. I’m not sure if they found him. I was unconscious before I left the base. I still don’t know much about Onyx myself._

_The last time we spoke, I was kidnapped by Brock Rumlow. They took me to my commander and Alexander Pierce. By that time, I thought had already remembered most of my missions as Onyx. What I didn’t know is that there were so many more._

_My commander activated a part of Onyx that I didn’t even know existed. I only know it now because Steve broke down the wall blocking it out when the Helicarriers launched. I still don’t know if there’s more of Onyx hiding somewhere in my brain._

_Now, everyone knows that Onyx exists. Some people know even more than I do. I need to get away for a while, and figure out what I can before someone finds another part of Onyx that I didn’t know existed. I need to deactivate Onyx for good._

_I’m sorry I couldn’t say goodbye in person, Tony. We both know you’d never let me leave the house again once you found out about everything. What I can do, is promise that I will be back. All I need is time._

_Please don’t try to come after me. This is something I need to find myself. And I promise I’m not alone. Tell Pepper if she doesn’t take good care of you, I’ll make her job hell when I get back._

_I love you, Tony. You’re my best friend, and you’re the best big brother I could ask for, even if you are a little full of yourself. I’ll be back before you know it, I promise._

_Love always,_

_Phoebe_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again , I will probably be taking a small break and completing more of the second story before I post it. I'm sorry that I was sooo inconsistent with my uploads! Thank you so much, to everyone, for putting up with me, and I PROMISE I will be back before you know it with the second story! I love all of you!


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